On the Run

“For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” (
New King James Version, James 4:14b)

A rushed life. A hectic life. Busy, dizzy, blaring. Intoxicating, nauseating.

Why do we live such roaring lives? Why fear the quiet, the halt?

Is it because we are running away?

A blank calendar leaves us space to recall we only have so many days. A turned-off screen brings us back to reality where we’re finite and frail.

So tiny in the scheme of things. So little in the light of eternity.

It’s terrifying really. Here we are, fantastically intelligent creatures, housed in magnificently-tuned bodies, plopped in the middle of a glorious planet, swirling in an endless sea of universe.

How can we be so magnificent yet so fragile, our lives ever hanging in the balance?

Distraction shushes our terror.

And yet.

And yet what if there is something better? Something better than this sickening distraction?

What if we are called to fully uncover our weakness- to fill our eyes, fill our souls with the nakedness and the glory of our existence?

Our souls are bare before God. How far we fall from His perfect standard. We are an almost invisible vapor; He is the immortal Matter of all matters. Seeing our bankruptcy on every account causes us to run to Him. He is the deep well we must draw, He is the eternal life we must have. If only we let Him, He takes away our shame; He removes our failings; and He covers us.

We can face our finiteness and our frailty- because He is strong. We can face our weakness- because He is good. And we can face our smallness- because it means we fit in His hand.

No need to run anymore.


The Friendship Series: The Quiet Ones

The Quiet Ones

Hello there. :) It’s been awhile since we met. Between chasing summer sunshine and a busy toddler, it’s been hard to drop in. But here I am, ready to continue our discussion on friendship…

Today, let’s talk about the Quiet Ones. Yes, the introverts. Although not an expert on personality types, I am an introvert and have learned a thing or two about dealing with these unique creatures. :)

To start, not all introverts are quiet. (I simply use the term “Quiet Ones” as an affectionate name for the souls who recharge on their own.) And not all introverts dislike people. In fact, I would venture to say that many, many introverts actually love people. It’s just that, unlike our extrovert counterparts, we can only take so much of others. People may engage us, inspire us, interest us, and warm us- but they also deplete us. Seriously. We need to gear up to be with other humans- and then we need to recharge afterwards. That’s just the way we’re wired.

But don’t let our seeming finickiness scare you away! We can be some of the most loyal, thoughtful, and steady friends you’ll ever have- with all our own quirks to boot. We just need some special care. Here are a few tips:

1. Choose quiet settings. We are much more apt to enjoy a coffee date than an all-night rave. Being more sensitive to stimulation, calmer settings put us at ease. We can then let our guard down and connect.

2. Smaller is better. Although we may find the mixer event to be a fun novelty once in a while, we are much more comfortable in small group settings- even one on ones. We can better give of ourselves when we only have a few people to interact with- our energy reserves go further. Put us in the middle of too many people and we can start to “hermit” away….


3. Don’t let us hermit away! Yes, we may need breaks from people and space for our souls to breathe, but we also NEED people! Despite what we may think sometimes. :) Don’t give up on us if we’re quiet or seem aloof. We are probably hungering to be your friend- we just need a warm up.

4. Write us a note. Not pigeonholing here, but words mean a lot to almost every introvert I know. So try writing us a note. I bet we’ll keep it for an insane amount of years, stored away in a Rubbermaid box in our bedroom closet, waiting for our heirs to sort through all the papers someday. Not that I know from personal experience or anything. ;)

5. Forgive us. Finally, as introverts, we need forgiveness. Often. Sometimes our need to be alone- to recharge solo and focus on ourselves- can slip unconsciously into selfishness. We don’t mean to be selfish. Truly. We just need reminders that there are so many people besides us- in the physical world outside our heads. :)

What about you? Do you know a Quiet One you can uniquely bless today?


Hide me under a rain-soaked tree,
The weighted tendrils dripping over me.

I’m in love with these rainy weeks,
And all the grey days they bring.

Like autumn redone-
Though just a fleeting gift-
‘Fore the season of summer.

But I’ll take this excuse,
And choose the scarf, tea, and covers.

I’m so in love with these days.

Me and my mini-Oregon.

Weighted Tendrils

The Friendship Series: Forgiveness

Now that we’re sufficiently ticked off, how do we keep being friends? For yes, our friends will tick us off, annoy us, disappoint us, offend us, and hurt us. That’s what people do from time to time. That’s what we do from time to time.

Although the first inclination may be to adopt the hermit life, or put up walls and never be vulnerable again, we must stop. Stop and consider our debt.

Not unlike the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18, we owed a debt we could never repay. Burdened with sin, slanderous at heart, putrid and vile inside, our best attempts at goodness were like bloody rags (Isaiah 64:6).

Yet God forgave us.

As we sit and consider our debt- really think upon it’s weightiness- we see things differently. Suddenly, the forgotten phone calls and overwhelming chatter don’t seem so big. Suddenly, the offenses seems so small. If God forgave us, how can we not forgive our friends?

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you .” (New King James Version, Ephesians 4:32) (emphasis mine)

God knows our pain. He understands the hurt. Let us share it with Him, for He longs to carry our burdens. He longs to heal our hearts. Stop trying to muster up grace, let us run to God and ask for His grace to forgive our friends.

He wants to help us.

And He is pleased when we want to love like Him.


The Friendship Series: Ways to Kill a Friendship

We’re all on a journey when it comes to friend-ing. But if there are habits that make a good friend, there are also traits that make a not-so-good friend. Overlooking more obvious traits (serial killing, constant lying, eating the last piece of dark chocolate, etc.), there are subtle characteristics that hurt. Speaking from my experience, these include:

1. Not Showing Up. This seems like a given, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had relationships severely damaged by lack of dependability. I totally understand that life happens, kids get sick, your car breaks down, yada yada. But as much as you can help it, as often as you can help it, show up when you say you’ll be there. Start habitually canceling and your friendships are sure to erode quicker than sandstone in a desert storm.

2. Talking Too Much. Friends want to hear about you. They really do. But after 45 minutes of listening to you talk non-stop about your family’s drama, your latest project, your fav show, and YOU, they want a turn, too. Just because your friend is politely nodding and smiling while you ramble, don’t assume that they have nothing to share. They might just be too polite to cut you off- or they might feel overwhelmed by all the jibber-jabber. Especially if they’re an introvert- or the quiet type. Which leads me to the next trait…

3. Not Knowing (Or Caring To Know) Your Friend’s Personality. You might not know their Myers-Briggs breakdown, but generally try to know your friend’s tendencies. Are they likely to speak up and offer their thoughts? Or do they need some gentle prodding, some skillful questioning to get them to open up? I LOVE people who ask good questions. Some people are so skillful at getting to the heart of the matter right away, asking just the right questions. Learn how to be one of those people.

4. Lack of Reciprocation. Some of the deepest friendship wounds come from lack of reciprocation. We’re all swamped, all tired, all everything. I get it. But it starts to cut into our friend’s soul when we don’t reciprocate. If you really do like your friend and want to keep being friends, then maybe it’s your turn to initiate. Instead of waiting for them to ask you out again, why not invite them? Why not ask them over? It hurts to feel that you’re not pursue-worthy.

5. Texting While I’m Sharing. This might just be a pet peeve of mine, but argh! Seriously? I finally get a chance to share my heart and then you start texting while I talk? Seriously?!? (Sorry- just had to include this one… :) ) I’d rather you just not show up. ;)

Whew. Glad this list is done. My blood pressure was starting to rise…

Until next time!