It’s funny how pieces of life point to the greater whole, the core of the story. When life is swirling around you, through you, you don’t always see the central plot. You miss the forest for the trees. But somedays, you look at the trees and suddenly see a mighty forest.
Cello and piano. These two instruments have been the recent metaphor of my life, pointing to the greater story. Five years ago I took up cello, poured hours and energy and money into something I so desperately wanted to do, wanted to be. The cello voice captured in air a sound that mirrored my heart. Aching, haunting, longing, beauty. But when my fingers met the strings, the haunting wasn’t lovely- it was ugly. And frustrating. And painful. And disappointing. And too much like life.
For the next five years, I wrestled the desired result with reality and decided it just wasn’t worth it. While a gutting decision to make, the day I chose to sell my cello was the day I felt I could breathe again- and be me. Not an image of me I had concocted.
And then there is the piano.
Touching piano ivory feels like home to me. Even sharp notes and sour keys make me smile. I can’t explain it, but it just feels right. Six years of childhood lessons, two cross-country moves, decades later- it all comes back in seconds. There is no pressure to perfect- just joy and play. And an old friend rediscovered.
And so it is with God and me. He has always been the piano, but for years I made Him the cello. Something perfect, demanding, other worldly. So beautiful and ethereal- but which I could never reach. And in truth, God is all these things. But He never expected me to be them. He knows I am thoroughly flawed. That’s why He came to save me. It just took me twenty-five years to understand.
God is not my baggage. He is my piano: my joy, my delight, my childhood love restored. When I fumble and trip over keys, He just laughs and smiles and says, “No worries. We get to start over and play that part at the beginning again, the part we like so well.” What a rediscovery- this Love, this Friend. And the best bit is knowing that He will be my life’s companion to the very end.