I Love You More

Thoughts while I’m smack dab in the middle of figuring out my relationship with the internet…. enjoy. 🙂

*     *     *

In the middle of a crazy and mundane day, you’re there.
When my small world seems meager, you’re there.
Shimmering off the screen, you beckon me to take a sip.
Just a sip.
A sip of ten minutes to scroll the page and see what’s new.
But I know you.
And I know me.
It’s never just a sip.

A sip becomes a gulp becomes a drowning.
Drowning my attention, my creativity, my adoration.
Even when I’m not with you, you steal my heart away.
But I can’t let you steal anymore.

I have two little girls, four little eyes, locked on me.
Waiting for me, aching for me.
Let me drown in them.

When it’s all said and done, I won’t wish I had spent more time online.
I’ll wish I had spent more time on them.
My treasures.

And He is waiting, too.
Longing to fill the longing.
Longing to make my small world glorious.

So I say “I love you more” and I shut off the screen.
Glory

Because Time Is So Very Precious

Precious
Because time is so very precious, I say no when I used to say yes.

Because time is so very precious, my window sills are the dustiest.

Because time is so very precious, we sit and watch the sun set.

Because time is so very precious, we eat the store-bought bread and don’t fret.

Because time is so very precious, I hold her when she asks. Even though her gangly legs dangle down.

Because time is so precious, I trace the outline of her eyelashes brown.

And pause.
And smile.
And breathe.
And beg.
Beg for time to slow.
Because time is so very precious, and I don’t want to let go.

Lately

Hello Friends.

It has been quite a while. 🙂

Between this toddler chasing (see Exhibit A)

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

and this baby birthing (see Exhibit B)

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

I haven’t had time to sleep. Yet alone write.

But I have missed you. Greatly.

All of this hullabaloo hasn’t dampened my love of words, of passion, of living a fixed-gaze life. Rather, my focus has been refined, further and further.

Lately?

I still love my golden-haired guy. He is my rock and sacred joy. I love laughing with him when all we want to do is yell because the toddler threw rice all over the floor again and the baby is crying forever.

I adore my exuberant toddler. She is so curious and so sweet and so joyful- she makes my heart sing.

I am swooningly in love with my new rosy, plump, delicious baby. She is as perfect as a babydoll.

I love my friends- and those who will one day be my friends. (Kindred spirits are hidden everywhere, you know.) In fact, I love them even more than ever in these whirlwind days of babies all around. They bring color and sanity and gladness to my days. I adore them.

I love life. There are so many wonderful things in this world. Sunshine on water, bird calls through my window, the joy of cleaning out clutter, the satisfaction of a good book, the rapture of a gorgeously-shot film, a strong body, hopeful plans. So much to partake.

The Beautiful Life

And I love Jesus. More than ever. More each moment. The last year has been hard and deep. At times almost, almost, too hard and too deep. But He has always been here. And He has made me strong. How? By constantly holding me up. Forever I am grateful, forever I am His.

So that’s where I’ve been.

I’d love to hear where you’ve been lately.

And I can’t wait to see where we’ll go next.

Until then.

E

Kisses

Author’s Note: Little Girl is now 4 months old- can hardly believe how the weeks fly!
This poem was a gift to Little Girl, just 16 days before she was born. Enjoy. : )

Your kicks are little kisses,
A secret only we share.
From the barely felt first flutter,
Lying so still to know you’re there-
To the rib kick karate chops,
Making me gulp for air.
For 9 months you’ve lived safe beneath my heart.
In a few short days, you’ll be safe within my arms.

I am over the moon excited to meet you face to face-
To hold this Little Girl I’ve come to know, to feel your embrace.
I can hardly wait for all….
The adventures we’ll share,
The memories we’ll make,
The love we’ll hold…
As we watch you grow and grow.

But for now, these last few weeks,
I never want to forget these precious seconds, when I feel you inside me.
When we are almost one.
I always want to remember this special time, this special love.

Because your kicks are little kisses,
A secret only we share…

I love you Baby Girl!

Love, Your Momma

Baby’s Song

Don’t move.
Don’t speak.
Just lie here next to me.

Inhale.
Exhale.
Breathe in time with me.

The dishes may pile and dust bunnies breed.
But what does that matter?
You’re here with me.

Kings may fall and climbed ladders fold.
But don’t miss me grow up, I’m not little forever.

Stay with me here, I’m right here-
And I am treasure.