Bankable

Bankable
You are bankable, God.
When the places in me are gaping holes-
Bottomless pits of deficiency-
You are the Life I need.

When I am
…Crippled inside
…Have the self-esteem of dust
…”Beyond repair”
I rejoice.

Because that’s when I can make a full withdrawal from Your account-
The bankable King of creation,
The bankable King of my heart.

You infuse me with Your riches,
Drown me in Your wealth (Your Love).
My heart can beat again.
I’ll always be with You.

You are bankable, My God.
And You never bounce a check.

Just One More Minute

Just One More Minute
One time you were my favorite.
I pasted pictures of you all around my office,
Feeling squishy inside every time I’d catch sight of you.

I’d ache to talk with you just one more minute,
Hating the lady who’d cut in and say one more minute and the call would be cut.

I thought a year would never end,
And then you were home.

Almost a decade shot by.
And here we are.
Sitting across the dinner table.

It’s hard to hear you because
The toddler is singing,
The baby is crying,
And living a story is louder than I thought it’d be.

But I still love you.
You’re still my favorite.
And I still wish we could talk just one more minute.

Thoughts on Things

Thoughts on Things

“All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.” John 1:3

I get a happy feeling when I declutter. A feeling like no other (except perhaps when I write). It starts in my toes and goes all the way to my heart where it flutters and buzzes. I love to tidy. 🙂

Yes. I know I am fully a nerd that way. But as I embark on a little business to help others declutter, I have been pondering my philosophy of order. Why do I love it so much?
I think I have discovered the reason.

The home is our own special kingdom, a sacred place we get to manage. Whether a mansion, hut, or rented studio room, God gives us our own “plot of earth” to steward. What delight, what joy, what training can come as we put our hands to this gladsome task! Toddlers may conspire, dust and grime encroach- but still what a joy that we have a plot! As children of a King, who has a kingdom, I believe there is an innate desire in us to have domain, to rule a place. And the first and happiest place we get to rule? Our own space.

And ruling our space well brings many happy results.

If we want lives we love, then, as much as it depends on us, only have those things we love in our lives. Perhaps we can’t donate our annoyingly loud neighbor to the Goodwill or fix every messy situation, but we can push back on the crush of stuff in our homes. And that can bring peace and control in whatever situation we find ourselves.

Being tidy and having uncluttered space empowers us to move through the other rooms of our lives with confidence. We learn discernment both in the choice of our physical things and in the choice of our lives’ work. We don’t need to pay a seminar fee or attend a conference to learn these lessons. All this training can take place in our own home.
What joy!

We aren’t perfect (can anyone say yard work?!!), but every day we get better. We get better at home.

A Mother’s Love

Mother's Love

A spouse’s love is the Most Sacred of loves, going so far as to be the picture of Christ’s love for us. But a mother’s love is the Most Natural of loves, flowing freely. Aboundingly. Intrinsically. To mother is to love. You can’t separate the two. How do I know this? Because I know my mother’s love…and because I am now a mother.

I know things get broken in our world- including hearts, homes, and relationships.
Not everyone knows a mother’s love. 
I know that mothers get tired and cross and lost and yell.
Not every mother feels like they are good at loving. 

But the truth is that God can heal broken mothers.
And God can heal through broken mothers.
In a line where hurt mothers hurt mothers, running through the generations, God can change the course and set mothers free. Free to be His kind of mothers.
How do I know this? Because I’ve seen God do it in my mother… and because I’ve seen Him do it in me.

And that’s why I can fully say, “Mom, you are like home to me.” When we’re laughing, chatting, cooking, shopping, Call-the-Midwife-marathoning, commiserating, living– I feel at home when I’m with you.

For nine months you were my residence, but you will always be like home.
I thank God for this great gift.
I love you. 🙂

My Mom and Me

The Laundry

The Laundry
The hamper is never empty
Because our lives are always full.

Full.

The grass streaks = playing at the park
The milk spit-up= sweet baby snuggles
The grease stains= how hard he works for us
The chocolate drips= yummy ice-cream dribbling down her chin
The spaghetti sauce= squeals of delight while squishing noodles

I plan and strategize and map out ways.
Ways to empty that hamper.

But they never fully work.
The clothes pile up like breeding bunnies-
Beyond belief before my eyes.

I sigh.
I groan.
And kick that hamper.

But then…I remember.

The hamper is never empty
Because our lives are so blessedly full.