Inhaler For The Introvert

Sediment settles in my soul.
Choking out life.

Everything they say. Everything they want from me.
Everything I give- always more needed.

Sediment settles in my soul.
Choking out my life, choking out my very breath.
I have nothing left to give.
I can’t breathe.

I need a long deep drag.
No- a blasting is more like it.

Hide me away from everyone, from every entreating voice and every demanding hand.
Just for a minute.

Be my Inhaler-

Fill my lungs.
Dispel every stifling.
Shake out every corner of my soul.
Like a dusty sheet blasted with the Breath of Life.

Blast me, God, ’til all that remains is Your River of Life and Pleasure forevermore.

Monday Morning

I have peace on a Monday morning.

Chasing down distraction and hugging close diversion, You’re still here.

You are a car window open on a Colorado morning.
You are the sunshine filtering through the trees.
You are the calming classical channel.
You are autumn’s beloved breeze.
You are the solution to every problem.
You are the hope that You’re not done.
You are the joyous-heart-leap that earth is not my home.

And someday, someday, I will be with You forever.

I have peace on a Monday morning.

An Experiment in Silence

I’m in the midst of an experiment. Imperfect it may be- conducted by a flawed human being. But nonetheless, I am running little exercises, taking notes, making measurements, and forming all types of hypotheses. What is my grand experiment?


As human beings we have so many devices to do the job, apps to assist, and instruments to make things easier. Yet when I look around I don’t see rested faces. I see exhaustion. Weariness. Withering. Our task lists have become task masters. We can’t lug one more thing.

And our problem is so much greater than the buzzing of another text or the pinging of another email. Our Great Problem is the “duty” we carry around. The duty to be the best, be available, know everything that’s going on, know everyone who’s anyone, to not just worry about what we’ve done but all we could have done, should have done, and should be doing.

All our screens- big-screen, mini-screen, desktop, and laptop- constantly add to this badgering. For to be always connected is to never be good enough alone. To never be good enough “as is.”

And so back to my little experiment.

As much as I am able (considering I publish a blog and work for an online marketing company), I am trying on “as is.”

My rules to share? Nothing hard and fast- for I have found that legalism is the quickest way to kill an experiment of the heart. Rather, I have adopted a few principles, serving as gentle guides to remind of the quiet ways.

  • Embrace silence. Stop filling every space and every moment with noise. Turn off the radio. Drive in the quiet. Listen to the inner movement of the heart as God speaks through the light-filled trees passing by your window as you drive, the gentle rush of water as you wash dishes, and the comfort that fills your heart when you close your eyes to rest.
  • Disconnect. At regular intervals, take time to disengage from the constant call of social media, the Internet, and all our screens. Take time to fully be- in this present tangible plot of eternity- not just in the nebulous wireless universe. You’ll be surprised how interesting everyday living can be. Which brings me to my next guide…
  • Become a manual laborer. No, I’m not suggesting you trade in your day job to dig ditches (though if digging in the dirt really gets you going, why not?). Rather, make something with your hands. I remember reading an article about a man who lamented the fact that his entire career could fit on a thumb drive. In our information age, we have lost the satisfaction that comes with building something tangible, something concrete, that can stand as a monument to our work. So break the cycle and do something with your hands. Whether it’s baking a loaf of French bread, starting a garden, or painting a wall, make something solid. And it’s odd but all this manual labor, dirty hands kind of work, is strangely satisfying. Like therapy for our atrophied souls.

None of these gentle guides, you may notice, strictly mark meditation in an empty room, the smallest sound of noise glared at with annoyance. This is intentional. For to me it seems that the lack of silence today is not just the lack of noiselessness. Rather, the lack of silence extends to the lack of turning our attention to the inward landscape, the lack of acquaintance with true solitude (and thus the lack of acquaintance with ourselves), and the lack of making something truly worthy. We try so hard to cover our paper-thin, shivering, unknown-even-to-ourselves souls with all manner of noise and occupation. It’s time to stop.

To stop and be still.

For only in the silence will we find the Greatest Scientific Wonder of All: Jesus.

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“…and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces….but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a delicate whispering voice.”
I Kings 19:11-12

In the Magic of the Night

Yellow Squares






Yellow squares.
In the night.
A beacon in the blue.
Fog of soul and earth swallow.
In the magic of the night.

The whole world rearranged, reborn.
The grown-up world put to rest.
Imagination brought to life.
In the magic of the night.

Not afraid of the dark. No more.
The mystery of the night is a friend, not foe.
Embracing me with freedom.
Freedom to be who I really am.
An artist, a writer, a dreamer.
In the magic of the night.

To Have Him


There is something to be said for a grinding halt.

In days where every hour is filled and each moment categorized, we don’t have time to just think. To consider. To wonder.

All this rushing makes for very productive citizens, but does it make for awakened hearts, acquainted souls?

I’m not speaking of acquaintance between friends but the very acquaintance of life, of God.

This past weekend, I spent a solitary hour upon my bed and did nothing but sit in the quiet. The usual rush of thoughts cleared away and these unencumbered questions filled my soul.

What is truth?
Who is Elyce?
What is important enough for her to commit her life and sow her most precious hours?
Who is her Father?
What is He really like?
What does He think about Elyce?
Why did He make Elyce?

Rather than suppress the questions in a hurry, with safe Christian answers- I stopped. And I allowed the depth of these questions to probe my soul.

Christians can be afraid of mystery. Of wonder. Of not knowing. They always have an answer for everything. Theology becomes as familiar as brushing my teeth or wearing my seat belt. But this theology does not satisfy.

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A long time ago, there was a great dark empty space. Formless. Void. And my Dad created life. Think of it. Picture in your mind. See yourself seated on His shoulder as He formed the earth, sky, and waters- from nothing. Can you imagine what it must have been like?

It must have been unfathomably magnificent. Wonder-full.

I am convinced that the first key to an awakened heart is an awed heart. How can an enthralled heart but burn?

God is still in this wonder business. Yes- He might seem so far away, emaciated religion might seem so close. But He is not far away.

“….so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him (feel after Him) and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.”
Acts 17:27

The Greek words used to describe the feeling after God (pselaphao) and the finding of God (heurisko) uncover His heart for us. With pselaphao we are told that God wants us to verify by contact, handle, touch. And heurisko shares that God’s ultimate goal is for us to find, get, and obtain Him. God wants us have Him!

God knows how weak we are.
He knows the confusion, the distance, the apathy, the exhaustion, the starvation.

But He has come to rescue us.
And our rescue?

To have Him.

To have God Himself-
the Answer to our every question and the Richest of Fare for our every craving.